They Said I Was Broken. Reiki Showed Me the Truth

Do you know what a spiritual awakening is?

It’s a word we hear a lot lately. It’s trending on social media, and everyone seems to be talking about it. So I’m joining the conversation.

In my previous video, I shared my own personal mystical experience that marked the beginning of my spiritual awakening. The video was called My Spiritual Awakening Was Misdiagnosed Schizophrenia.

When My Awakening Was Misunderstood

In this post, I want to talk about the moment I realized I wasn’t actually living with schizophrenia. I was having a spiritual awakening.

As I mentioned before, I had a profound mystical experience in 2008. It was beautiful at first, but what followed was confusing and overwhelming. I started having strange memories. Visions. A deep fear of being violated. Sensations and messages I didn’t know how to interpret.

None of it made sense. And I didn’t have a framework to understand it—or to ground myself. From 2008 to 2015, I struggled. My family and the providers I was working with told me these experiences were meaningless.

That what I was going through was the result of “broken brain chemistry.” I was told that psychic abilities weren’t real. That I would probably never work again.

But something deep inside me whispered, “That doesn’t feel quite right.”

The Class That Changed Everything

In 2015, I made a decision that changed everything. I took a Reiki class.

Reiki is a form of energy healing that originated in Japan. I studied with Colleen Benelli, and during one of her guided meditations, something unexpected happened. I dropped into a deep meditative state—and suddenly I saw a memory from 2008. That same powerful experience I’d tucked away and tried to forget.

At first, I didn’t understand why it was showing up again. But in that class, Colleen had taught us how to ask Reiki questions. So I asked the energy:

“Why are you showing me this?”

The Conversation With Reiki

Reiki answered:
“Because we want you to understand the experience that you had.”

I replied:
“Well, I heard a voice back then that told me I was connected to God.”

And Reiki said:
“Yes. Reiki is life force energy. And life force energy is interpreted in different ways across traditions. In Christianity, it is often understood as God.”

I asked,
“Why did you present yourself to me as God?”

And Reiki responded:
“Because that was the language you understood. You were raised Catholic. For you, God and the Holy Spirit were how you made sense of divine energy.”

I continued to ask:
“Is everything Reiki?”

Reiki said, “In a sense.”

“Does it reveal itself uniquely to each individual?”

“Yes,” it said. “It reveals itself in a way that each person can understand—based on their level of consciousness, their belief systems, and their life experience.”

Everything Started to Make Sense

That exchange changed everything for me.

It was the first time I truly understood that the experiences I’d been having since 2008 weren’t signs of schizophrenia. They were signs of a spiritual awakening. I just didn’t have the tools or the language to understand them at the time.

That realization opened my heart and mind. It sparked my curiosity. I began to explore belief systems beyond what I was raised with. I studied Reiki more deeply, and eventually began learning about shamanism, Buddhism, and other spiritual traditions.

A Shift in Perspective: Curiosity Over Fear

I’ll be sharing another story soon about the first moment I suspected I might not have schizophrenia. But this experience in 2015 was the moment I really began to shift. I realized I needed to approach what I was experiencing with curiosity instead of fear.

A Glimpse at What's Ahead

In my upcoming book, The Divine Within: Healing Ourselves to Heal the World, I write more about this journey. It’s being published by Atmosphere Press and will hopefully be available around December.

In the book, I explore spirituality, healing, and how I’ve worked with Reiki to transform my life. I also offer a step-by-step guide for connecting to Reiki—because I believe it can reveal itself to you in your own unique way and support your healing too.

In my next video, I’ll be sharing more about what I’ve come to understand as a spiritual emergency, which I believe I went through between 2008 and 2015.

Stay Connected

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Sending you deep love and appreciation for the unique way you connect to your own inner divinity.