Understanding Our Core Human Needs: Why All Behavior Is an Attempt to Feel Safe, Loved, and Whole

Some behaviors help us meet those needs with integrity and self-love. Others, especially those formed in childhood or shaped by trauma, may actually harm us or others. But at their root, all behaviors are protective strategies.

In this post, I want to explore the foundational needs of every human being, why unmet needs shape our actions, and how healing begins when we understand the true source of our behaviors.

The Foundation: What Every Human Being Needs to Thrive

According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, human beings have a core set of needs that allow us to thrive and become whole. His publisher called this the “Hierarchy of Needs,” but at its essence, it’s really a map of what the nervous system requires to feel safe, empowered, and connected.

1. Safety & Security

This is the most fundamental need. Without emotional and physical safety, we cannot thrive.
Safety includes:

• Emotional safety
• Physical safety
• Bodily safety
• Access to food
• Clean water
• Shelter
• Healthcare
• Clean air

When these needs aren’t met, the nervous system remains in survival mode, making it nearly impossible to fully connect, trust, or expand into our higher capacities.

2. Connection

We need relationships in which:

• Our emotions are safe to express
• Our needs and boundaries are respected
• Our authentic selves are welcomed

Connection is not optional. It is essential for regulation, healing, and belonging.

3. Autonomy & Sovereignty

Every human being has a foundational need for:

• Free will
• Choice
• Agency
• The ability to express their values and beliefs
• The right to determine what is best for their own body and life

4. Self-Actualization

This is the need to:

• Live in alignment with our values
• Understand our place in the world
• Experience meaning, purpose, and spiritual connection
• Recognize the inherent worth of all beings

A self-actualized person understands that every person is worthy of their basic needs being met—not just some.

When Needs Aren’t Met: How Harmful Behaviors Develop

When someone acts in ways that:

• violate free will
• shame or manipulate others
• abuse power
• remove someone’s access to basic needs
• or create systems that deny others safety

…it’s not because they are inherently bad.
It’s because their own foundational needs were not met.

These behaviors often come from:

• childhood wounds
• unmet emotional needs
• deep insecurity
• fear of vulnerability
• internalized systems of dominance or hierarchy

Harmful behavior is always a symptom of unmet needs and unresolved pain—not a reflection of someone’s true essence.

What This Means for Society

If the basic needs of large portions of society are not being met—due to inequality, harmful laws, or systemic blocks—then entire populations will be unable to reach connection or self-actualization.

This is why advocating for:

• clean air
• clean water
• access to food
• affordable healthcare
• bodily autonomy
• emotional and physical safety

is not political.
It is foundational to human thriving.

Those in positions of power who restrict others’ basic needs are acting from wounds, not wisdom.

How We Begin to Heal Ourselves

Even when our needs weren’t met in childhood, healing is possible.

We begin by:

• creating emotional safety within ourselves
• learning how to meet our own needs with compassion
• healing our nervous system
• building healthy relationships
• practicing discernment
• examining the belief systems we inherited
• questioning why we think some people deserve safety and others don’t

Safety is the foundation of all healing.
Love is the outcome.
Accountability is the bridge.

Healing yourself is not selfish—it is what enables you to contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are honored.

A Loving Invitation to Reflect

If you notice yourself believing that some people deserve their needs met and others don’t, I invite you to get curious:

• Where did that belief come from?
• Who taught it to you?
• Does it truly align with your values?
• How would you feel if you were in the group deemed “unworthy”?

And if you benefit from wealth, power, or privilege, consider exploring:

• Why you feel threatened by others having equal access to basic needs
• What wounds might be hiding beneath that fear

These reflections are not about shame—they are about awakening.

A Path Forward: Healing Ourselves to Heal the World

If this message resonates with you, I invite you to explore this work more deeply:

🌿 My book, The Divine Within: Healing Ourselves to Heal the World
This book explores the psychology, neuroscience, spirituality, and consciousness behind healing and human thriving.

🌿 My YouTube channel
Where I share teachings on healing, consciousness, and remembering who we truly are.

🌿 My work at Blossoming Heart Wellness
As a licensed marriage & family therapist, yoga coach, mindfulness teacher, Reiki master, and channeler, I help people reconnect with the truth of who they are—love, peace, and unity.

You can learn more at: blossomingheartwellness.com

Sending you deep love wherever you are on your healing journey.
You are worthy of safety, connection, sovereignty, and flourishing—because you are divine by nature.

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